DEAR: The Homeless In The Rain

To the homeless. We do not know you.
Where you've been, to the things you've seen. Where you've come from, but yet it rains on you.

The cold weather, we as you, need a place to go.
But where are these places, we only know.

If I could help you, I would. My life is not my own too.
I can never know all the things they went through, to this day.

I see the development around you,
The places that could be yours,
But for what?
Register? No help? Abandonment?
No, we're here to forget the less fortunate, but realism is there when we see it.

In the big city, no help from some.
In little towns, no help from some.
There are places to help you, but only willing are the one's who can, and want to help you.

I do my best for the less fortunate, from the time of seeing the homeless from childhood.
Learning about the good samaritan, to some of the rich helping to supporting a cause.

Take care for them all, I do hope one day all this will change. For them is a start at least.

The writing for the homeless, I hear. I help. I pray. All. For. You.

- xImmortalMindsx

Calming Ones Self

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Today, I'm not in the best of shapes greatly. Mentally, my mind is not in a good place right now.

Story goes, it's not my fault, but I can't help anymore. I tried, now I'm left with worthlessness.

I feel this, because I feel like a fool. Taken for granted, when others are meant to help in thoughts situations. But no, so I feel torn.

I felt like doing a post, to express how calm I'm trying to be, day 1.

What has helped: 

- telling someone
May not be face-to-face, but it helped

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- save a draft
Whether be mail to send, text, notepad etc.

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- write
Diary, writing book, digital, etc. it helps to clear the mind.

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- post
Another format for readers, to my own self.

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+ meditation, walks, and many more.

I feel more settled, but not mentally balanced yet. I know there's nothing that I can do, but this time, feeling worthlessness is not my wrong doing, it was of other people (not you of course, **smile**).

So, I'll do whatever I can to feel better. All I have to think, is that there are helpers, and things that can and will help me. I feel settled with this. Sleep helps too.

Take care readers + viewers,
Posting V Projects

Illness...

When people get ill, it scares me these days.

I don't want them to feel that way, but it happens. As I would have to say to myself.

The struggle and feeling sorry for them, and wanting to help them is difficult but I would want to them to feel like they have help on their side.

Just like how I suffer from illness, I find it best to give help back as much as I am possible to.

I know it can never be easy, but you may not know how a little help can make someone's day. Truly.

So, before anything, help the ones who need you the most. I surely hope I do too.

Take care,
Posting V Projects

The Cause Of My Depression

I've been holding off this post today, because it's a very personal subject for me to chat about.

The professionals of mental health helped me through the difficult times, that I couldn't mention to anyone.

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Story

So, within 2013 (I guess that's when it started) I wasn't feeling all too 'happy'.

Things that ran through my mind were:

1. I'm unemployed

2. I'm a burden to people I know

3. I keep doing my (personal) work, and it's not 'going anywhere'

And so on.

I thought about them everyday, every week to every month. It kept running over, and over in my head.

It got too much where, I planned to kill myself, 3 months before my birthday...a wonder, right?

I just felt worthless and my health was getting to me at the time too, because I couldn't do the work that I wanted to do. I saw everything at its worse.

I cried every night.

Realisation

Realising I was crying every  night, made me worry and I questioned, 'is this normal?'.

I've had sadness, but not THAT great sadness. I couldn't take the (amount of) crying anymore.

So, I found the little courage I had left to try to go to the doctors.

Before going there, I always thought:

1. I'd be a problem to be helped

2. I didn't know the extent of (severe) depression to be classed as a mental illness.

3. I remembered a documentary on BBC3 [link] and where a young person said this GP, didn't know anything about mental health.

I feared this.

However, I went, and explained my problem, it turns out they knew A LOT about it.

I was thankful.

There was questions, and after phone calls, visits to different places and counselling. Thankfully around my area.

Thankful again, I'm still here, doing a blog I'm getting into. Also, I've opened up to people more, which I'm super glad about.

It's a process to go through.

So, I would say to:

- take a chance and visit your doctor.

- use charities that help with mental health, they have helpful links, details and people to help you.

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The Doctor + The Help

It's all through willpower. If it's in there, they'll bring it out with you and your agreement. Truthfully.

I said 'yes', obviously with concerns, depression talking. And I write this blog, to you, today.

Give it a chance and always feel free to tell them anything of your concern. It's to benefit you, to make sure they're help best suits you.

It sounds daunting every time.

Feelings

I honestly can say I need help, as much as anyone who seeks it too.

I always have that problem, where I think that others need more help than myself. But it's myself that has to say, 'I need help, I have to seek it to help me'.

I'm stable at the moment. The days which are hard, are the days you have to master your own thoughts, and find your solutions.

Helpful Thoughts

There's always help, and I say that each and everyday.

If I need real big help, to the doctors I go.

If I need help now, I go online. I was recommended an NHS site - 'Big White Wall' [link]. It helps directly. 

Or you can share your thoughts, and 'like minded' people help you too.

If I need slight help and just want to chat, I use a mental health charity.

Other Note

Some may say it's 'selfish' and 'stupid' to want to kill yourself.

I found out what they meant, and I watched something that explained it. I don't remember the show, but it's a case of the 'aftermath', and what it does to others.

Apart from this, I see the mental illness part. If there's no help, then when will there be help?

There's a two way thought through saying this to people, to doing something for people.

Otherwise, I finish by saying:

- I have a mental illness

- I suffer from severe depression

- I am happy I got the help I needed

- and the help, I'm so thankful for is still allowing me to live today

Please seek 'help' if you feel there's something unusual with your emotions, or any concerns in general.

"You never know unless try".

Thank you.

Take care,

Posting V Projects