Calming Ones Self

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Today, I'm not in the best of shapes greatly. Mentally, my mind is not in a good place right now.

Story goes, it's not my fault, but I can't help anymore. I tried, now I'm left with worthlessness.

I feel this, because I feel like a fool. Taken for granted, when others are meant to help in thoughts situations. But no, so I feel torn.

I felt like doing a post, to express how calm I'm trying to be, day 1.

What has helped: 

- telling someone
May not be face-to-face, but it helped

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- save a draft
Whether be mail to send, text, notepad etc.

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- write
Diary, writing book, digital, etc. it helps to clear the mind.

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- post
Another format for readers, to my own self.

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+ meditation, walks, and many more.

I feel more settled, but not mentally balanced yet. I know there's nothing that I can do, but this time, feeling worthlessness is not my wrong doing, it was of other people (not you of course, **smile**).

So, I'll do whatever I can to feel better. All I have to think, is that there are helpers, and things that can and will help me. I feel settled with this. Sleep helps too.

Take care readers + viewers,
Posting V Projects

What's Been Bugging Me Lately?

"It's because you have a lot of free time...".

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There's no need to say this.

Nowadays, I'm finding it hard when I'm told I have free time. I wish I knew where it was/is, (lolls).

**I don't like this to sound as a rant.

I feel offended.
I am unemployed, although it doesn't mean it's not for a reason, or that I chose to be.

We have to live with what happens, to the choices we make. It can't be helped sometimes.

I do want to say a new light on the situation.

From the way I'm bought up, I was told and directed, we have to go with our heart.

When others CHOOSE to not except the bad things that happen in life, it's truly bad.

I get annoyed, because even people who are close, choose to not acknowledge, that I would love to do something in my life.

Free time is a word used. I see this as a done time.

"My free time, is my over time".
**illness related, (again...?!).

It makes me feel like I should bow down, and take action to say, "I'm a sickly person. I wish to be like you. You're better than me"..? Is that right to say?

No, it's truly not.

No one, is greater than anyone else, especially on Earth and in space (remember the astronauts).

I'm tired of hearing it, but I bless anyone who get to do the things, they aimed to do. I salute you greatly.

May you all take care,

Posting V Projects

The Headache Hours

For the past days, I've been suffering from a headache. Migraine.

It lasted 3 days, but I'm OK for now.

I always joke that I should just call this blog, 'The Illness Diaries' but it wouldn't go with the things I try to do.

Anyway, I said I'll do a blog post for now when it lightens up, and I do still feel headaches but, it's manageable to do things in a way.

Apart from this, I do worry like before, if this would effect my work performance.

Seeing as past times, it always does. And for reality in a job world, it did effect me badly lasting the same 3 days. This was from the worse headache.

The Worst Headache...

Is when you you feel sick, get bedridden, and feel ultra dizzy. I guess this is why they call it severe migraine.

I have this illness.

The Lighter Headache...

This is slight dizziness, work performance can be confusing, and it takes a lot of effect to stand - unbalanced.

This is what I had for the past 3 days.

So, this is a little insight to where I've been. 

I always try to be calm, see through the hours - like today - to see whether I am able to do anything. Recovery hours. Then I use what I have that could calm me down. Even the one's I know.

The most one's that help are:

- dark room

- movies/videos (eg. YouTube)

- drawing/painting

Plus, I try to eat what I would like to try and eat.

It always feels like I'm full along with, a hot feeling temperature. But it's not true. It feels like a simulation in a way.

Therefore, the results of today, and blogging at this moment.

Take care, and for yourself in these times.

Until next time,

Posting V Projects

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P.s - Happy Easter. 

Ever heard 'My Neighbour Totoro'...? 

#Bunny