Saturday, 23 May 2015

Burst Out Crying

Yesterday it happened. I burst out crying.

Especially "rudeness" of 'Happy' by Pharell Williams, could not stop this, while it was playing.

*Lucky after, Michael Jackson, 'Smooth Criminal' came on. Phew!

Anyway, on the weekend I wasn't feeling to happy.
I got low (unhappy) about my work, people's actions/saying and how my health was effecting my everyday situations.

These "came back" in my mind, and no matter what I said, to others and myself, it kept getting worse.

So, yesterday, I just cried.
I was washing plates, I put the music on, it just disappeared in the background, and I cried. I just couldn't hold it back.

After that, I wiped away my tears, got back to washing plates, then MJ (Michael Jackson) came on, and I started to smile again. Like the hurtful burden was washed away this time. And, I just silently sang away, just feeling a "release".

*Sorry for the quotation marks.

I know I can't help what I can do to what I can't do, but I need to remember to listen to positive people and my own thoughts. (Even to God - I'm a believer, I won't preach words though).

Overflow (my thoughts) was:

1. Inconsideration from others.
Opposite: some people know my health problems, and they support me, when I know I'm not able to.

2. Feeling like I'm not doing much work.
Opposite: I've been doing work, I've been doing what I can handle. Feel proud you can even do anything.

3. Not being able to talk to others (not opening up from what I would like to say).
Opposite: learn to open up to others again, and never be afraid, you know them.

4. Health...
Opposite: to think now, others may not understand what you have, to experiencing right now, but only you know, and you alone only know what's best you can manage. Don't ever feel ashamed or useless. Feel proud and worthy.

*Remember 'karma'.
Bad to say (my opinion), but it happens anyway.

Thank you if you read this. I am glad to say this, however I should have said days a go.

Take care,
Posting V Projects

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