I'm struggling with my mentality at the moment. I don't know whether to say this or not, but it's of loneliness.
* I didn't want to express my feeling of loneliness, due to reactions. But, I guess, honest words have to surface (telling the truth, to express the true feeling).
In other words, I don't know where everyone may be, or I feel bad, because of the actions of others.
With me, I get misunderstood a lot, A LOT. I guess it's from assumptions. But I always feel like I'm in the wrong.
I don't know whether to feel sorry for it, or to express the truth of how someone/people may take it.
Anyway, in my other mind, it feels like "playground stuff" if you understand what I mean.
I'm surrounded by adults now.
I don't know whether my posts, or comments, make sense, but I try so hard. I'm always scared. Just fear from what others may think or say to me.
I am afraid.
For posting right now, I cried before this, (I'm fine, no worries). But that's the fourth time in a week.
Otherwise, all I keep saying is, "don't blame yourself".
I try.
And just like the 31 Days Of Halloween challenge, I do love it. Otherwise, underneath I'm not coping with my life at the moment.
I'm not in a bad state, I'm trying to avoid it, and I do seek help, etc, etc., but I'm at the stage whether to "delete my life" (get away from social contact, etc.), and " get away" from people who assume than support, if it makes sense.
If You're New Here, (hiii!):
To mention, I have severe depression, and I could feel myself getting "back to normal again". This is one setback, loneliness, I've not experienced greatly, but I question if it could have been avoided?
Maybe, so yes and no.
Loneliness effects my depression, like a hollow in the chest. It makes your heart feel heavy, or light, and my brain gets overwhelmed by emptiness from no one.
There could be a lot of people to go to, but I've contacted I would say, but no success. So, I seek the help I know.
I want to be honest, and say they sounded the same a little bit, like from when I was a teenager, but they're following protocols. I was in a bad state, so, yep, ask away. All I wanted to do was to contact someone, who does care, and to reply back. It helped a lot. It made me feel free (no worries, telling my problem) from the burden.
I do feel hollow, but I'm at the stage where I try to move from it. I'm finished with bad feelings that, I'm left with, when I'm not to blame.
* I've learnt this 3 times, now this is the 4th time.
I'm finished.
Thank you if you read this. Very different from my challenge, but this is me "Posting...".
Take care for now,
Posting V Projects
