Dead End

Losing the desire to design

--- The Counteract: [link] -----

“The world can seem such a scary place” - booking.com, advert [2018-2019]

I'm not in a desigjjng mood, memory, anymore. I'm just lost.

Not a lost I've felt before. It's very new.

To say this, I have no desire to design anymore. Not out of fun. and , not out of a request for example.

Seems like, I have no idea how to establish this. And that is true.

For once. I feel no passion for it. Like, surrendering to world, that, clearly, may still, not understand crafts and arts.

If I'm not meant to see the past, then, there was no art movement. - [my view, situation]

I feel in my heart there is , and was (one). Was, for myself, apaperantly, I should not see the past, and see what is right now, in frnt of me.

Thinking of this, then, to me, this equals:-

-- I have no talent

-- I should not take hours out of my day, for a passion of mine

-- I should not see what is already there,

And all the truths, that is crashing.

Then,...what have I been designing for?

What were my lessons?.

I should not see them , as they are today. Like, the, past didn't exist. Didnt shape me…?

I'm having a crisis.

If I knew already, the CORRECT support, now, maybe, I would feel different.

But, as said, I'm not MEANT  to look at the past, and look at now, present. (If to say, I do/did both - past and present. It was exciting).

If this makes sense.

All these years, I've been teaching myself, how to draw, how to do this (techniques), and use that equipment, what works best for me.

But, now I'm not meant to see the past,.... (?).

These lessons do not matter.

The end.

***I'm going to say, this is my presonal view. Especially how, and of what the world, is showing me, giving me, telling me, etc. and as for understanding terms, during 2018 - 2019, - not everyone is like this. And that's it. The words use such as : some, a few, not that many, etc.***

I'm at a dead end.

All this work, for nothing.

xImmortalMindsx

The wording: "be careful, how you speak to people" come to mind. But, I do not know where it comes from. - crisis says, in past terms, 'it does not aply today'......

I get set, really easy, if someone is trying to teach me something, say something to me, etc., then I apply it to all the things, I can and should do. But, if I'm not meant to see the past, then all ttse sayings, "fables, and morals" do not exist.

If I find a way, to know, if these pharases, SHOULD be ...present (?), today. Then, I may start to feel a bit better.

Present says, "not likely". - reality, there is only 24hrs in one day. (Hinting: to learn (everything) in one day.). I now it's not possible, but ,(defence to this post, blog).

--- The Counteract: [link] -----